Friday, January 11, 2008

Day Eleven: Surrender

Let me begin by saying I have chosen this year to study the niyama, Ishvara Pranidhana (surrender) in my life. Control is a big one for me and can leave me inflexible, impatient, and certainly not in the flow of what life has planned for me. I have studied surrender often in my life and have let go of much of my control. There is still a bit left and I am ready to leave that bit behind! So, with that introduction, let me tell you about today.

Ironically I had already named this evening’s post “Ramping Up Again” because I had every intention (and plenty of time) to do a lengthy asana practice. I did start the day meditating before I got out of bed (my favorite time) and then planned to do a breathing practice. My family got up with me so instead, I chose to have a lovely morning together with them. It felt so wonderful to fully let go of my plan to be fully with them.

Then, this afternoon, I was running in the house with my kids and backed into the couch leg. I twisted my ankle a bit. It certainly wasn’t serious, at least I didn’t think it was, although I did hear a slight pop and I could see some bruising. So, I sat on the couch and put some ice on it. My son snuggled in next to me and told me it was his job to, “Help mommy feel better.” It was so sweet! He has been wanting to learn about giraffes lately so we popped the tape in of a giraffe special from PBS and snuggled in to watch. When my practice time came up, I chose to stay with him. I knew he needed it (I have been working a lot lately and will be gone much of this weekend – on yoga business, of course!) and I certainly needed it, too! What I am particularly proud of is not only choosing to stay with him but also not feeling an ounce of judgment for not doing my asana practice I had planned. Because there was no judgment, I felt perfectly present with him the entire time. What a gift for both of us!

I am off to do some forward folds and twists and then, of course, my Savasana, before bed. Happy surrender to all of you!

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