Decluttering: Part I

So, my husband, children and I cleaned out our garage today. If you are like me, you wonder where in the world it all came from! I must admit, I began to philosophize as I went through box after box, wanting to throw and yet finding myself inextricably attached to much I know in my head I no longer need. I very much appreciate the work professional organizers do (I have had one in twice!) It takes a coach and a psychologist to aid us in letting go of our stuff.

We do the same thing with our beliefs. (Beliefs are more than just about religion. You can read more here about what I consider to be beliefs.) Boy do we hang on to those opinions! So much so we even see things and interpret them they way we need to in order for situations to fit our beliefs.

“We build self-images and construct concepts and paradigms that feed our sense of certainty, and then we defend this edifice by bending every situation to reinforce our certainty. Donna Farhi

Old, worn out beliefs can hold us back and keep us from growing, cluttering up our minds and our hearts. Donna goes on in her quote to say: "This would be fine if life were indeed a homogenous event in which nothing ever changed; but life does change, and it demands that we adapt and change with it. The resistance to change, and tenaciously holding on to things, causes great suffering and prevents us from growing and living in a more vital and pleasurable way.”

Is it time to declutter your beliefs and make room for something new?

Next post: How yoga can help.

Injuries as Blessings

What if your injury was a blessing? What if you no longer saw it as an inconvenience? Something to be tolerated until you could “return” to your “normal” life and “normal” practice. If you have been practicing long enough, you probably have encountered an injury and you have probably also encountered the frustration and irritation that often accompanies an injury. What if injuries were blessings? What if they were gifts from the universe to help you focus on a specific area? Stop focusing on a specific area? Or to learn something new about your body or mind? In hindsight, can you glean any gems from past injuries? I have spoken at length on this blog about my hamstring injury that challenged me for almost thirteen years! I can list a dozen benefits from that issue. I also had a neck injury (I straightened the curve in my neck doing inversions incorrectly) that took three years to fix. One of my best gems from that period of time was really taking a fascination to inversions and how to teach them well.

Your yoga practice is about where you are right now, balancing you whether that balance is physical, mental, emotional. When you have an injury your practice is around supporting the issue, helping it heal or release or restructure, whatever is appropriate. When you no longer see an injury as an irritation, a whole new world opens up!

Samskaras: Part II

To take the analogy a bit further from Part I, when we drive through such deep ruts, aren’t you completely fixated on the ruts? It can be a bit scary to go through them and you are focused on the work involved. Ironically, if you were to look up, not only would you see that you are actually in a vast Africa Savannah and can see for miles, you would also find that driving through the ruts is easier as well when you are focused on where you are going.

Ruts keep us stuck in our old consciousness with our limited perspective. Look up! There is an infinite array of things you can do!

Samskaras: Part I

There is this wonderful Sanskrit word I just love: Samskaras. It actually has around 20 meanings (almost literally, check the The Shambhala Encyclopedia of Yoga by Georg Feuerstein). My favorite translation is “mental permeations”. It refers to having a set mental pattern. In other words, we think the same way every time the same thing happens. You always feel annoyed when your Dad tells that story from when you were young. You always feel irritated when the person in the cube next door begins to talk loudly on the phone. You always feel stress and tension when you see traffic ahead. Interestingly, in studies done on the brain, researchers have found that the more we think something, the stronger that thought pattern becomes. Our brain literally builds more connections for that path! The stronger the pattern becomes, the easier it is to go down the same path.

I like to see a samskara as an African mudhole. You know when you drive through mud, ruts appear. The more you drive through the mud, the deeper the ruts become. Once the ruts dry, it can be incredibly difficult to choose a different path.

If you do choose a different path and try to come out of the rut, you may fall right back into the track, but you have shaved a bit of the rut away in the attempt which makes the next attempt a bit easier. Each time you choose a new thought, a bit more gets shaved away as a new track forms. Interestingly, that is just what brain researchers have found. When you choose a new path, a few links of the old are broken, weakening the old pattern a bit.

I use this analogy frequently with coaching clients and my yoga students. It can feel frustrating when you think you have “failed” at changing thought patterns. Success is not evaluated by completely letting go of the old thought pattern and using the new one, success is each time you are conscious of the old pattern and changed it a bit. Each time it changes, you have weakened the old thought pattern.

Surrender: Part II (or is it III or IV?)

Okay, I am back and what an interesting month it has been! Between being sick, attending a conference, going on a trip, and having internet on the fritz, I kind of feel like March was a blogging blur. I feel I abandoned my blogs! I feel renewed energy and a bunch of ideas are flowing around my head and I can’t wait to share them with all of you!

The biggest idea and the one I want to explore here is around my study of surrender this year. For those of you who read my blog often, you know I choose a theme each year to focus on. This year it is Ishvara Pranidhana, or surrender. What is surrender? We talk about it a lot. “Letting go” and “trust the universe” are the catch phrases of our current times, but what does that mean? How does one “do surrender”? I am a “doer” and I want to know what I can “do” to surrender. This question is one I am still answering for myself and continue to explore it on my mat in my practice (where I always turn when I have questions). You can read what I do to “practice surrender” yogically here.

Ironically, though, it seems surrender is more about not doing and instead merely being. Relaxing into the space of the moment, the process of what you are doing, and being fully present. It means not forcing yourself into the future nor being stuck in the past. When you surrender, you are open to what the future might hold for you (not your idea of what the future might hold for you) and you are grateful for whatever the past had to teach you so you can move on.

For now, surrender to me means not worrying because I trust God, the Universe, the process, the bigger picture, whatever phrase works for you, to guide me into the experiences I need to have to grow more into the person I know myself to be. It means not doing things out of fear (doing things because you are afraid something else will happen) and instead doing things because you know they will bring good things to you. (Coming from love not fear – intrigued to read more about that idea? Read my other blog entries here and here.) Surrender also means trusting that even the challenging times have their purpose and I needn’t add to the challenge by worrying about them.

As a recovering control addict, I find the balance between doing what I want to do and going over the line to doing what I feel I have to do for something to succeed extraordinarily fine. It is what I am working on now – it is only April!

Surrender

“…it’s hard to see the bigger picture when you think you are the great controller of your life.” (Donna Farhi)

“As I emptied my cup, the world flowed in.”
(Rolf Gates)

I have two quotes for you this month. They have similar thoughts and both are beautiful. In December, I decided to spend this year studying the last of the niyamas, Ishvara Pranidhana or surrender. Like many of us, I have long been the “great controller” of my life with deep-seated fears of letting go and trusting in the process of life. The more I let go, the deeper I go into my heart, to an inspired place from which to live. Both Rolf and Donna are right, I am seeing a bigger picture and the world is beginning to flow in in ever increasing and powerful ways.

I struggled with how to conceptualize “letting go” as we often hear these days. What did that mean? How could I just stop worrying and stressing? I did what I often do when I am unsure, I turned to my mat. Just as our lessons in life show up on the mat, lessons learned on the mat move into our life. Poses create awarenesses and feelings in our body and we can use them to help us do more in our life. I know forward folds are about letting go and being present so my practice has been almost entirely forward folds for two months. I also know child’s pose and Savasana are about surrender so I do them every night before bed. Finally, I knew the exhale aspect of my breath is about letting go so my breathing practice has been focused exhaling as well. In my meditations, I visualize handing over my worries to someone I respect and trust with my problems. Other than my practice, I didn’t “think” about letting go.

As always, what happens on the mat, came into my life. I am letting go. I feel control has much less hold on me. I am much more open to flowing with what comes in and, perhaps more importantly, what goes out of my life.

Think about issues you are struggling with in your life, things you are “thinking” a lot about. How can you take the issue to the mat? You can use poses to build courage, open to love, release grief, soften to the present, and much more. Not sure what to do? Email me. I am happy to help. Yoga is our gift and we can use it for so much more than merely stretching our bodies.

Is Your Practice From Love or Fear?

In my last post, I discussed the difference between motivation (coming from fear) and inspiration (coming from love). When you are doing something with motivation, you are doing it because you are afraid something else will happen if you don’t do it. When you are doing it from inspiration, you are doing it because you are excited about what will happen when you do it. Well, when I learned the difference between the two, I realized my yoga practice was coming from fear. How is that possible, you say? Read on. The genesis of my yoga practice came from all my years of exercising and *eating right* and all the self-discipline that engenders. Goodness! If I went one day without exercise I might get fat or feel depressed or who knows what terrible thing could happen! When I began yoga in earnest, I just transferred all my discipline from exercise to yoga. I think I just didn’ I still loved my yoga practice and thoroughly enjoyed how great I felt throughout it and after, but deep down I knew that I was doing it because I feared what would happen if I did not.

Because my practice was based in fear, it was keeping me from growing. In fact, at that time, I realized my entire personal practice, all the things I was doing in my life for “my own good” were also from fear. If I was going to grow spiritually, my life needed a foundation of love. That was also the time I really got on a deep level that any external control I tried to exert was also from fear and if I was going to release fear in my life, I needed to let go of control. The only way I knew how was to stop doing everything that came from control — my practice. I stopped exercising, doing yoga, meditating, journaling, and watching my food intake. It took me awhile to miss anything. Initially I just felt relief from the time pressure. I had free time and no shoulds for probably the first time in my life. It was incredibly liberating! Then I went through a period of judgment and self-criticism all around the guilt of not doing my practice. I just sat through it and did nothing. I cannot remember how long that stage lasted. I know it was a couple of weeks or so, though. Then I felt done. I was ready to begin inviting things back into my life. I was inspired to take my practice to new places. I only brought in one thing at a time and didn’t do it if the old pattern showed up. I would only do it if it came from an inspired place. Any will power needed and it wasn’t what I wanted for that day.

How did I know it was time? Not sure...I just knew I was ready to pump up my practice and take it to the next level.