Paying Taxes With Grace

This week's monday morning musing is on releasing all obligations, in other words, doing everything with grace, even paying taxes. Here is a part of a post I wrote a year ago on taxes, my view. It has been one of my most popular posts and I have found I have shared this link with students and coaching clients more than any other. I thought it might be poignant again.

I am grateful for paying taxes. I may not have had a lot of money to pay in taxes over the years to experience that side of the angst people feel when they have much more to pay, but there have been times when the taxes I paid made meeting rent/mortgage difficult for me. And even in those months I was grateful to pay taxes. I am self-employed so I pay more taxes than those employed by others. I am also often paid in cash and I always report every penny. I am so incredibly grateful to live in this country. I know this may sound silly, but it is absolutely true. I am grateful to be free, to live where my children can roam the streets without being shot at, where education is free, women have rights, we have religious freedom, we have roads that are taken care of, good medical care, to not have to serve in the armed forces, and to have people who are willing to serve for me to protect my said rights. My list goes on. I have always been willing to pay for my part to be here. I like to think that that gratitude will continue when I am able to pay more and I will be grateful I can pay more so that others who will struggle to pay their taxes and meet their mortgage won’t have to pay as much.

Blogging from Love

I began blogging because I love yoga and truly want to share that love with anyone who wants to read. Then I began to feel obligated, obligated to write regularly. I easily go from joy and love to obligation and duty. So, I decided to stop until I felt moved to write from my heart again. I am back! And looking to sharing some of the ideas that have come up in the interim. I will only write when I feel inspired to do so and intend to do so in more areas of my life...

Creating an Inspired Home Practice

How would you describe your home practice? (or the home practice you want to have...) Is it fun? Exciting? Something you look forward to doing each day? Or is it something you feel you should do? The first step to creating an inspired practice is to make sure your reasons are coming from within, the deeper within the more inspired your practice will be. Whenever you feel a “should” come on, your motivation is coming from without. (I feel there is a subtle, and powerful, difference between motivation and inspiration. You can read more here.)

Yoga is so much more than simply a physical practice. You can use a yoga practice to develop yourself mentally, emotionally, spiritually, as well as physically. The most important step to take when you are considering beginning a home practice or changing the one you have is deciding why you want to practice. Be honest with yourself. If your reason comes from deep within, you will have an inspired practice, and you will be excited to get to your mat. Be sure it is what you want, not want you feel you should be doing! Your reasons can be anything from strengthening the core to getting off your anti-depressant medicine to relaxing your nervous system, to enlightenment. Whatever your reason, if it is truly yours, you will be much more likely to stick with the practice. Your reasons will keep you coming back to the mat.

Once you know why you want a practice, plan the poses around that intention. If you want to create more calm in your life, restorative, forward folds and longer Savasanas are appropriate. If you want to build stamina and core strength, standing poses and strength building poses are what you need. If you aren’t sure what poses will fit your intentions, email me. I am happy to direct you to the poses you want.

Then, to keep your inspiration, be open to changing the focus of your practice. Most likely, your reason will change periodically which will often change the focus of your practice. Flow with it and be flexible. And enjoy your inspired practice!

The Month of Giving

We have entered my favorite month of the year. Really. I love this month. I love that we have a holiday that is nondenominational AND all about gratitude. I love that the holidays are around the corner because I still feel the sense of excitement and anticipation of the season. I love that the new year is around the corner. I also love that it is the month to work on my Spiritual Practice in my program called Awaken to Joy. It is just fabulous! All of it.

So, I found a fabulous online community to enjoy my month on. It is called 29-Day Give. They challenge you to track 29-Days of giving. What a fabulous thing to celebrate! Join me. You can find me there -- Yoga Laura. Be sure to make me a friend!


View my page on 29-Day Giving Challenge

Old Fat Naked Women for Peace

Generally I prefer to stay out of the political arena, but I couldn't resist this one! It is fabulous!

Decluttering: Part I

So, my husband, children and I cleaned out our garage today. If you are like me, you wonder where in the world it all came from! I must admit, I began to philosophize as I went through box after box, wanting to throw and yet finding myself inextricably attached to much I know in my head I no longer need. I very much appreciate the work professional organizers do (I have had one in twice!) It takes a coach and a psychologist to aid us in letting go of our stuff.

We do the same thing with our beliefs. (Beliefs are more than just about religion. You can read more here about what I consider to be beliefs.) Boy do we hang on to those opinions! So much so we even see things and interpret them they way we need to in order for situations to fit our beliefs.

“We build self-images and construct concepts and paradigms that feed our sense of certainty, and then we defend this edifice by bending every situation to reinforce our certainty. Donna Farhi

Old, worn out beliefs can hold us back and keep us from growing, cluttering up our minds and our hearts. Donna goes on in her quote to say: "This would be fine if life were indeed a homogenous event in which nothing ever changed; but life does change, and it demands that we adapt and change with it. The resistance to change, and tenaciously holding on to things, causes great suffering and prevents us from growing and living in a more vital and pleasurable way.”

Is it time to declutter your beliefs and make room for something new?

Next post: How yoga can help.

Get Out of the Box

I have been studying the brain lately in reading a book called The Answer by John Assaraf and Murray Smith. Basically the book discusses how our unconscious mind keeps us stuck in our current (usually limiting) way of thinking, stuck in a box. Sometimes the box is pleasant ("My marriage box is lovely!" and sometimes it is mediocre or even very uncomfortable ("My current job is terrible but..."). But it is what we know and there is security in what we know. A step away from the known is scary and we unconsciously (and sometimes consciously) avoid taking the next step. Often we can't even see the next step.

Ready to use your yoga to expand your consciousness? Remember what you do on the mat transfer off the mat and vice versa. Ready to expand out of your box in your job? Marriage? Friendships? You can do it on the mat first. How? Do you always do the same practice or same type of practice? Do you love forward folds and avoid backbends? Do you always want to feel like you’ve worked hard so that your practice “counts”? Do you sit on your mat with no energy and just sit there? Have you done the same 10 poses in the same order for years? Use your practice to break out of the box. Change it up. Do something different! Find a pose you always avoid or one you have never done. Begin to experiment. If you always feel you need a workout, do a restorative practice. If you always do restorative, do something vigorous and get your heart pumping!

Okay, now, does the mere thought of doing something different even for one day bring fear to your heart? That is the sign that you definitely need to do something different!

Savasana is About Not Doing

I was teaching Restorative Yoga the other night and had an insight about my own practice. I used to avoid Restorative Yoga (including Savasana) more than any other types of poses. I have always thought it was because I couldn’t sit still. Tonight, I realized it was about “not doing” and “not struggling”. I hadn’t realized how much in my life I felt I needed to struggle to do. Any success or accomplishments were more satisfying (in other words, they “counted”) when I had worked hard for them. (How many of you appreciate your own gifts? The things that come easy for you? I bet you take them for granted or don’t even see them as well!) I certainly needed to work hard at my exercise whether it was aerobics or yoga. Tonight I learned my greater lesson was the benefit of not doing, of surrender, of not struggling and the benefits that can come from letting go.

Tadasana (Mountain Pose): Choose Your Own Foot Position

I have been thinking a lot about this pose since my yoga group “The Muses” and I spent April studying it. (Read more about our discoveries here.) I realize I have learned at least a dozen different ways to have the feet in the pose. In fact, I rarely hear the same direction from two different teachers! So, what is the “right” way? In answering that question, I am reminded of something Barbara Benagh said to me years ago. She said that whatever a teacher teaches you is only her opinion about a pose based on how it feels in her body.

What a sage observation! So, it is then our responsibility to take the information we are given and decide how we want to use it or even to discard it altogether if it doesn’t fit our body’s needs. I realized that I needed to find the foot position that gives me the grounded feeling I love in Tadasana (which, by the way, is feet hip width apart. I have a torque in my pelvis so if I put my feet close together I feel like I am twisting.) What foot position works for you? What helps you feel grounded and open in the body? Play with it. What you have always been told might not be what you need in your body.

77 Surprising Health Benefits of Yoga.

Check this out! What a fabulous, and thorough, list! It should keep you doing your yoga for years to come...77 Surprising Health Benefits of Yoga.

Samskaras: Part II

To take the analogy a bit further from Part I, when we drive through such deep ruts, aren’t you completely fixated on the ruts? It can be a bit scary to go through them and you are focused on the work involved. Ironically, if you were to look up, not only would you see that you are actually in a vast Africa Savannah and can see for miles, you would also find that driving through the ruts is easier as well when you are focused on where you are going.

Ruts keep us stuck in our old consciousness with our limited perspective. Look up! There is an infinite array of things you can do!

Samskaras: Part I

There is this wonderful Sanskrit word I just love: Samskaras. It actually has around 20 meanings (almost literally, check the The Shambhala Encyclopedia of Yoga by Georg Feuerstein). My favorite translation is “mental permeations”. It refers to having a set mental pattern. In other words, we think the same way every time the same thing happens. You always feel annoyed when your Dad tells that story from when you were young. You always feel irritated when the person in the cube next door begins to talk loudly on the phone. You always feel stress and tension when you see traffic ahead. Interestingly, in studies done on the brain, researchers have found that the more we think something, the stronger that thought pattern becomes. Our brain literally builds more connections for that path! The stronger the pattern becomes, the easier it is to go down the same path.

I like to see a samskara as an African mudhole. You know when you drive through mud, ruts appear. The more you drive through the mud, the deeper the ruts become. Once the ruts dry, it can be incredibly difficult to choose a different path.

If you do choose a different path and try to come out of the rut, you may fall right back into the track, but you have shaved a bit of the rut away in the attempt which makes the next attempt a bit easier. Each time you choose a new thought, a bit more gets shaved away as a new track forms. Interestingly, that is just what brain researchers have found. When you choose a new path, a few links of the old are broken, weakening the old pattern a bit.

I use this analogy frequently with coaching clients and my yoga students. It can feel frustrating when you think you have “failed” at changing thought patterns. Success is not evaluated by completely letting go of the old thought pattern and using the new one, success is each time you are conscious of the old pattern and changed it a bit. Each time it changes, you have weakened the old thought pattern.

Aligning with the Intention of Tadasana (Mountain Pose)

Tadasana (Mountain Pose) is a very powerful pose. Or, at least, that is its intention. To fully engage the energy of the pose, you must have a balance between grounding and lifting. Often, the balance is tipped one way or the other. If you are overly grounded, the pose is heavy and lacks the expansion. If you are overly lifted, the pose is too light and lacks grounding. The intention of the opse is to be like a mountain, grounded and open to whatever comes. What are you?

Too grounded: Do you have a hard time lifting your chest? Do you feel as if you are standing in a hole? Do you tend to ruminate about the past?

Too lifted: Do you feel your weight in the soles of your feet? Do you grip the tops of your feet? Does your ribcage come forward? Do you tend to spend time thinking about the future?

Musasana: A New Blog

I want to introduce a new blog I have created with the women with whom I am beginning a new company. On this blog we investigate one yoga pose in-depth each month. We share our thoughts and experiences as we study this one pose. Please join us! We would love your comments as well. Musasana

Random Act of Kindness

I was the victim of a random act of kindness today. I had just taught my morning class and my students were leaving. It snowed throughout class so students were brushing off the windows on their cars. I peaked out the window only to see one of my students brushing off the windows of my car! It just made me smile. Thanks, L, for that kindness. It has brightened my heart today so I know it is being passed on to others through me.

Taxes: Just My Opinion

I just received this email from my parents:

Father Daughter Talk

A young woman was about to finish her first year of college. Like so many others her age, she considered herself to be a very liberal Democrat, and among other liberal ideals, was very much in favor of higher taxes to support more government programs, in other words redistribution of wealth.

She was deeply ashamed that her father was a rather staunch Republican, a feeling she openly expressed. Based on the lectures that she had participated in, and the occasional chat with a professor, she felt that her father had for years harbored an evil, selfish desire to keep what he thought should be his.

One day she was challenging her father on his opposition to higher taxes on the rich and the need for more government programs. The self-professed objectivity proclaimed by her professors had to be the truth and she indicated so to her father. He responded by asking how she was doing in school.

Taken aback, she answered rather haughtily that she had a 4.0 GPA, and let him know that it was tough to maintain, insisting that she was taking a very difficult course load and was constantly studying, which left her no time to go out and party like other people she knew. She didn't even have time for a boyfriend, and didn't really have many college friends because she spent all her time studying.

Her father listened and then asked, how is your friend Audrey doing?

She replied, Audrey is barely getting by. All she takes are easy classes, she never studies, and she barely has a 2.0 GPA. She is so popular on campus; college for her is a blast. She's always invited to all the parties, and lots of times she doesn't even show up for classes because she's too hung over.

Her wise father asked his daughter, “Why don't you go to the Dean's office and ask him to deduct a 1.0 off your GPA and give it to your friend who only has a 2.0. That way you will both have a 3.0 GPA, and certainly that would be a fair and equal distribution of GPA.”

The daughter, visibly shocked by her father's suggestion, angrily fired back, "That's a crazy idea. How would that be fair? I've worked really hard for my grades! I've invested a lot of time, and a lot of hard work! Audrey has done next to nothing toward her degree. She played while I worked my tail off!"

The father slowly smiled, winked, and said gently, "Welcome to the Republican Party."

Perhaps it is needless to say, I tend toward the Democrat side and my parents the Republican. Also probably needless to say, they have considerably more money than I have.

The truth is, I am not a staunch Democrat. After studying government in college, I am far too politically cynical to feel either side is the best answer. But apparently I am Democrat enough to put a bee in my parents’ proverbial bonnet. (Actually, over the years they have made several comments, indicating that it is quite an issue for them. One friend pointed out, with humor, that they were okay with me living with my boyfriend for two years before I married him, leaving my religion of birth, and my brother coming out after 10 years of marriage, but my being a Democrat [and a “light” one at that] is too much for them to bear!)

It all comes to money to them, it seems anyway. As this story shows, they seem to think that I will change my mind when I have more money to lose in the game. Now, admittedly, they may very well be right, I just desperately hope they are not. I may not have had a lot of money to pay in taxes over the years to experience that side of the angst, but there have been times when the taxes I paid made meeting rent/mortgage difficult for me. And even in those months I was grateful to pay taxes. I am self-employed so I pay more taxes than those employed by others. I am also often paid in cash and I always report every penny. I am so incredibly grateful to live in this country. I know this may sound silly, but it is absolutely true. I am grateful to be free, to live where my children can roam the streets without being shot at, where education is free, women have rights, we have religious freedom, we have roads that are taken care of, good medical care, to not have to serve in the armed forces, and to have people who are willing to serve for me to protect my said rights. My list goes on. I have always been willing to pay for my part to be here. I like to think that that gratitude will continue when I am able to pay more and I will be grateful I can pay more so that others who will struggle to pay their taxes and meet their mortgage won’t have to pay as much.

Beautiful Women

I just received this email from my mother. I have read it a few times in the past and love its message. Enjoy

Below is a wonderful poem Audrey Hepburn wrote
when asked to share her 'beauty tips.'
It was read at her funeral years later.

For attractive lips,
speak words of kindness...
For lovely eyes,
seek out the good in people.
For a slim figure,
share your food
with the hungry.
For beautiful hair,
let a child run his/her fingers through it once a day.
For poise,
walk with the knowledge that you never walk alone...
People, even more than things, have to be restored,
renewed, revived, reclaimed, and redeemed;
never throw out anyone.

Remember, if you ever need a helping hand,
you will find one at the end of each of your arms.
As you grow older, you will discover that you have two hands;
one for helping yourself and the other for helping others.

“Your Edge”

What is your edge in a pose? You know, the place where you feel you cannot go more deeply into the pose? It feels like a wall, doesn’t it? Like you couldn’t possibly go further. Did you know there is no such thing as a “wall” in stretching? We are working with soft tissue here, it can always lengthen. Now, it is true you reach a place in which you can’t go further, for now, but that place is always moving. If you were to hold the spot for a moment longer, breathe into it, see it release, you would then find the “wall” moves. I have begun calling it a “speed bump” instead of a wall because although it may slow us down, it certainly doesn’t need to stop us. The key to transforming your wall to merely a speed bump is to keep your mind in the pose, feel the resistance, breathe into it, see it moving. What often happens, though, is we go into a pose the same way every time. We go to our same place, rest for a moment (often thinking about something else), then we pop out and do the next pose. Of course, this isn’t true with all of our poses. I find it most prevalent in poses you don’t enjoy or ones that you do so frequently you have developed a strong habitual pattern in it. I encourage you to enter poses anew each time.

Think of how many places in your life, off the mat, in which you do the same thing. You assume it will be the same each time, whatever it is. Your job will be just as stressful today as yesterday, your commute will be just as challenging, you will always make the same amount of money, your parents will always be controlling, your children will always be hard to handle in a restaurant. You get the idea. This concept shows up everywhere.

Instead of assuming the same position each time, assume it will be different. Let yourself open to the possibilities. Let your body open to the poses and your mind to your life. Let your life be unforgettable.

“Live the Unforgettable”

I cut this saying out a magazine last fall. Doesn't it sound fabulous! I have many inspirational quotes (I am a collector, as you have probably noticed) and this one, from an ad, has affected more than any other. I realized that much of my life was unforgettable - absolutely fabulous. Then there were also parts that were unremarkable and it was time to change them. I want all parts of my life to be unforgettable - I want to have and do all that I have set out to do and I just get tingly with excitement when I think about it.

What do you want? What would make your life unforgettable? Let yourself dream about it and imagine it. Let the excitement draw you into the steps needed to turn your dream into reality. Let your life be unforgettable, too!